American

Charlie Kirk, Rest In Peace, brought to my attention the state of our country. No, I do not agree with everything he says. But you can not agree with some things a person says and agree with others.

I think it's  BS that we have people who pick a political side and defend everything that side is for without actually questioning it or asking themselves what they think. Because if you don't ask yourself, what do you really think? What do you value, stand for, what would you fight for? You're just regurgitating what the people around you believe. 

Do not ever feel like you should just conform to your friend's ideation to avoid friction. Now more than ever it is important that you speak what you believe. If they were truly your friends and truly loved you, they would respect your beliefs. If someone is speaking the truth, they will not attack you or be volatile for you speaking yours. That's how you know someone is regurgitating something they don't really believe- they're volatile about it. No one that knows the truth will force it down your throat or attack you if you believe something different. They'll say: This is what I believe. Take it or leave it. And not in a sarcastic, passive aggressive way, but in an objective way. In a non-attack way. 

This country is asleep. Everyone's asleep. No one cares to ask any questions that would shatter their current beliefs. 

It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to have different beliefs than other people. It's okay to be wrong, or realize what you say is a paradox. That is the way this world is, and the sooner you realize that paradoxes and polarity are what holds this world together, the sooner you'll find peace. Thank God for the people that have liberal beliefs and thank God for those that have conservative beliefs. Thank God for the invisible pole that holds them together. Opposite beliefs help us see things in a different way and maybe give insight into something we didn't see. 

At its root, opposing views often signal a common ultimate goal. A liberal advocating for social programs and a conservative championing free markets both aim for the same fundamental outcome: a prosperous and stable community. Their disagreement lies only in the method they believe will get us there.

I completely agree with Charlie Kirk's stance on how we put up with too much violence, filth, and criminals. We just accept things that are absolutely unacceptable. Charlie said, "We need more people in jail. We do not have enough people in prison in America." 

I, on the other hand, have a different perspective on that statement, one that comes from a place of experience: I've been to jail. And having been inside those walls, I have seen the absolute horrors that go on in there. 

Prisons are private for profit. That's not okay. But let's meet in the middle. Okay Charlie, fine, we build more jails, we have more repeat offenders, violent offenders in prisons. But first, we fix what jail is. We fix what prison is. Because if prison rehabilitated, then we wouldn't have violent repeat offenders on the streets. It's not working obviously. What do we do to make jails and prisons a place to actually grow and change? 

Well first we don't list everything that's wrong with jails. Because I alone could write a novel on that and not get anywhere. We could list thousands of atrocities in jails, spin our heads, and with that information we still will not have helped America, our home, or our fellow man. 

This is how we start:

1. Highlighting Success: We must find everything that jails and prisons are currently doing right.

2. Studying Rehabilitation: We must find documented cases of people who have been truly rehabilitated by going to jail, and find instances where communities have been made safer through effective sentencing.

This is just the start of how we begin to fix the issue of America being an unsafe society. Likewise, this is how we help our fellow man who needs resources and structure to heal themselves. They will want to be a part of the society that helped them reform. I’m interested in creating real change. This way, we're not spinning our wheels with our defenses up and being deaf to what the opposite side has to say. 

Drinking Arsenic

A woman sat down in a bar, pulled out a flask, and swigged it. 

The man next to her asked what she was drinking. 

She said, "Arsenic." 

The man replied, "Arsenic?! Isn't that poisonous? What's it taste like?" 

The woman said, "Cherry." 

The man grabbed the flask out of her hand, took a swig, and said, "I don't taste any cherry. But definitely blueberry." 

They argued back and forth, and finally the bartender who watched all of this happen yelled, "Are you guys crazy?" 

Then he pulled out a cup, scooped ice into it, and said, "You're supposed to drink it on ice."

This absurd scene is a perfect metaphor for what's going on in America and the war in the Middle East.

The poison is the endless cycle of religious fighting and senseless violence on the streets. The man and woman are the two sides of the same coin, so caught up in arguing whether the poison tastes like "cherry" or "blueberry" that they forget they're killing themselves. 

The bartender is the system that has the power to put a stop to this, but legitimizes it instead by making it more appealing. 

Both sides ultimately want the same thing: a safe neighborhood, stable pay, and the freedom to live a healthy life. But what they're arguing and risking their lives over has become irrelevant, a distraction from the real poison they're both willingly drinking.

The Cave

 

I arrived. I didn’t know how I got there- just like every other time I’m transported to these strange lands. It was one of those places. Excitement leaked from my brain, down my spine and into every extremity of my body. 

I’ve been to lands like these before. Beautiful, magnificent, wild, and dangerous. 

Joanna and Emily, my God-loving friends from church, were there. I saw Pastor Joe, Chris, and a few other friends from back in the day. I was at a boarding school. 

This boarding school was unlike any other. It was deep in the desert mountains. There was a water park, a tram, and an ocean. I explored the lands with my friends and came across a Los Vegas- like designer shopping mall. Everything was exquisite. But that’s not what I came for. 

I came because I had insight about a cave in the rocky desert walls. This cave went from the high desert in the United States to China. The only stop on the way was the Portuguese coast. But there was something different about this cave. It wasn’t a many year journey underground in darkness. You could get to Portugal in 5 minutes. China in 10 minutes. To my understanding, it was some type of portal. 

There were two dominant religions in this boarding school. Islam and Christian. Both denominations of God were perched atop two large hills, side by side. I watched as Islamic women, beautiful with scarfs covering their heads, gathered for their service. Their eyes were dark, skin was light, and eyebrows were thick. Who knew the mysteries these women held for us. Their stone steps were paved and intricate. Pieces of stone fit together like puzzle pieces. It was indestructible. 

I decided to head to the Christian service, looking over my shoulder one last time at the beautiful Muslim women. 

The Christian church’s stone walkway was different. Very smooth, very step. I put my foot on the pathway with at least a 60 degree incline. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get the footing down enough to make the ascent. All my friends were up there, and I struggled; it was futile.

I made a mental note of how stable the Islamic steps looked. 

I heard a lot of noise coming from the East. What I saw was strange. 

A parade of wealthy Arabs were being led by the police towards the cave. They were on African safari animals. Some rode Rhinos, others atop elephants. Lions, Gorillas, horses, and gazelle were all chained together and being escorted by police. They were side by side and formed a long caravan. The Arab men shamelessly showed their faces as they walked by. They were in the front of the group. Several more animals passed. Then came the dark, massive horses towards the end. Two women sat atop them. They had hoods on. The hoods were zipped up in the front from their chest to the top of their heads. They didn’t want anyone to see their faces, to see them with their hands bound together under arrest. It was a strange sight. I watched until the very last animal crossed in front of me and went out of my sight into the cave. 

My parents came up to the desert to have dinner with me.

We sat at a glass rectangular table. They asked what happened to my friend “Britz” from college. I told them I didn’t know. They said that they really liked him. Then they were laughing about the time I called them asking them for help. They pulled out a video on their phone; it was the video I sent them. They showed it to me and I remembered sending it. It was from the darkest time of my life. I was instantly transported back to being at a man's house at night. The air was blue, chilling, eerie. My voice was shaking with fear. I described a dark entity being in the house with us. The man whose house I was at didn’t see it.

“It’s right there! Right behind you!” I screamed, my voice trembling. 

Just as I said that, hands wrapped around my belly from behind. 

It grabbed me so hard I instantly woke up and shouted, “Oh my God!” 

Dazed, in my day bed, I thought, “What a profound dream.”

I greeted my day dogs in my day house. I never can quite get used to how dense my body feels and the gravity of Earth when I wake up in the morning. Everything feels so heavy here, so unnatural. But I noticed something different about me. I felt like I had transcended. I felt peaceful. Like my guides had removed an entity that was using me as a host to keep me addicted and afraid. I had no fear anymore. Things that didn’t make sense before made sense now. 

Whatever tried to grab me when I was asleep (awake), couldn’t get inside me anymore. My energy field had no gaps for it to enter in. After a long, dark period in the day world, I was finally free.

Taking a breath is the new "like"

Have you ever listened to an audio of you talking, or read the transcription?

This was the transcription of an audio I sent my friend. 

I never realized how often I say "like." This is nuts. From now on, instead of saying "like," I will pause and take a breath. I know what I'm saying, but I sound like I don't because of how much I'm saying the word "like." Is this another way females dull their stories, themselves, and their experiences? Afraid of sounding well-spoken? Don't want to come off as intense? 

Let's rewire this programming and fully come into ourselves, our voice, and our stories. 

No more sounding ignorant or hesitant when we're not. No more dimming any parts of ourselves. We dissipate the illusions and come into our true selves by dropping these mannerisms.

God Qualities: Remembering my life purpose

Life is so distracting. There is something within us that remembers why we incarnated to this planet in the first place. We came during this pivotal time- the end of the old age and the birth of the new age- to usher in a higher consciousness for the planet. This is remarkable, mighty work we're doing.

What I most want in life:

I want to help others realize their potentials and help women come into themselves. Heal their psyches. Remove the illusions that keep people asleep. Harmony, creativity, to be seen for who I am. To be cherished, my work to be helpful, inspiring, and acknowledged. 

Qualities from an experience that I loved: 

Strength, skill, recognition, love, empathy, understanding, intuition, freedom, peace, harmony, things working out, flow, magic, soul, music, consciousness, friendship, respect, being seen, art, cooperation, alliance, working toward a goal, passion

Qualities that were missing during negative events:

Being seen, being safe, supported, beauty, compassion, love, kindness, respect, worth, safe feminine, energy, ability to be who I am and still be wanted, to be myself, wellness, strength, autonomy, freedom, positive authority, positive masculine, protection, wholeness, spirituality, dynamism, God, harmony, mutually loving relationship, family, friends, understanding, wholeness, peace, sovereignty, passion 

Life Purpose:

Where these overlap, is my North Star. 

This is the formula to remember what we came here to do, to be.

Song (s) of the Week

Hometown Cleopatrick

This is hands down the best rock song I've heard recently. Great drums, great build up/breakdown, lyrics. Hat's off! "Been spending the weekend wondering if it's me or the booze that really gets wasted." So good. I think they're brothers too. 

 Like This Levity x Nitty

I love the wonkiness, the Tokyo song. Like how do they even think of this? It's very bro trap-ish but hey, gotta give the masculine attention too.

The Difference Flume

Okay, when has Flume ever put out a bad song? Name one....Flume is the best of all the worlds. In this song, he adds some surprise drum and bass, ever so slightly, vocals over it so it doesn't feel like drum and bass (aka the song that never ends). Flume's sound design, melodies, and vocals are always a pleasure.

Crab Story

~ 15 years ago: Our church went to a new camp, and there were a lot of tide pools and creatures within the tide pools. During this time of my life, I had become extremely introverted at my public middle school. It was 6th grade. I felt so disconnected. No one had comforted me during these crucial development years from a child to a woman. I was always a tom boy, a true father's-daughter. and it was encouraged by the patriarchal society around me. But what happens when you can't be a little boy anymore, when your body starts changing and you start getting hormonal changes? No longer can you pretend to be the tom boy, and almost instantly it's as if the father who loved you so much last year, doesn't recognize you and you feel so lost, betrayed, and honestly afraid. The woman's journey is vastly uncharted waters. We don't have elders, initiations, or even a society that explains or supports any of that journey. We're just basically told to keep ourselves contained. Literally and figuratively. Then we're sold and taxed on a box of tampons, with the motto on the side in big bold letters, "Stops 99% percent of leaks before they happen!" What's the one percent it doesn't stop? Our personalities, our bottled up rage, our suppressed talents or unpopular opinions?

Anyway, like I was saying, I was going through a lot emotionally. 

I spent my time at camp smashing crabs with rocks on the jetty. I fed them to sea anemones. It wasn't out of hate for crabs, I loved all sea life. I still do. In retrospect, it felt like my last shred of expressing the feminine before I got completely severed from it. The intuitive feminine knows the circle of life very well. This is the pre- domesticated feminine. The feminine that we were before patriarchy, suburbs, and modern life. As I like to call it, Womb and Tomb Energy. We understood the circle of life- we knew when things had to die, we didn't prolong unnecessary suffering. You see this in the animal kingdom a lot. When a pup isn't healthy, wolves and rabbits for example kill their young. I'm sure some of you are horrified right now reading this, but isn't it more horrifying that we have come to think prolonging suffering is the right thing to do? That seems very selfish. We used to let the dying die. 

Today, I was walking on the beach with my dogs. I saw a crab flipped over, belly up with his many legs and pinchers exposed. I went to touch him because I thought he was dead. He moved and I was startled, "What are you doing out here little buddy?!" There's no tide pools at Long Beach, he was a long ways from home. 

I tried to save him, I flipped him over. I walked down the beach and came back, but he still hadn't moved. So I picked him up and put him in the ocean, he was moving his mouth and occasionally his legs, but other than that, the tide was just washing over him and he wasn't doing well. I was like, "You got this buddy!" Knowing damn well he didn't have this. He was sick- there was algae all over the beach. But now, after 15 years of domestication, I couldn't bring myself to kill him. I walked away, feeling horrible, because we're all creatures from consciousness, and I just left him there to be sick on the beach instead of to return his little crab soul back to God (not the guy in the sky- the everything and the nothing, the unnamable, the simultaneously him, her, and it and also, nothing and everything at the same time).

Is this what years of being so out of touch with my Womb and Tomb Energy has done to me? I thought walking back home. 

I'm just becoming aware of this. I don't have anything to say about it yet. I just thought it was interesting and that I would share in hopes that other females can draw parallels in their lives. I'm writing a memoir about my heroine's journey, and this ties in perfectly with it. 

Good Quotes (Updated Regularly)

On Kabbalah:

"We each have a task, and the skills to complete it. And providence makes sure that we are in the right place at the right time. People are hardwired to notice the absence of exactly what they are designed to contribute. Generally, at some level, each person feels that the fruit of his or her expertise is the most critical ingredient that is missing in any given moment."

"And furthermore, the Zohar provides a map of the multi layers of consciousness.
And it describes a kind of elevator shaft that passes through the "center" of each world and connects it to the world above. And it informs us that in order to ascend to a higher level of awareness, one must find the "center" of one's current level—the place where right and left, forward and back, up and down are perfectly balanced. And that requires the poise of opposites—the primary skill of mastering paradox."

Plastic Gags

When we stop and realize how many decisions were made for us that we just took at face value, it becomes painfully clear: most of us haven’t been in control of our own lives.

Take plastic bags, for example.

When we were kids, we went to the store with our families and were handed our groceries in plastic bags. We didn’t think anything of it. We didn’t invent disposable plastic. We didn’t decide it was worth mass-producing despite knowing it could never organically return to the earth like carbon material. We weren’t the ones who marketed it to businesses as “disposable,” using a word that made it sound harmless; as if you could just toss it and it would magically disappear.

But that word, that choice, shaped entire generations. Billions of people were convinced to go along with it. And here’s the kicker: the people who profited from that reckless decision won’t be the ones around to face the full physical and environmental cost of their choice. We and our children will be cleaning up a mess that we didn't even create. Had it been up to our generation, we probably would've invented some organic material, or stitched our own cute tote bags from fabric. That's what I've been doing and probably many more of our generation too.

This isn’t just about plastic bags. It’s about waking up and realizing how many systems, habits, and “normal” parts of life were decided long before we had a say. Now we’re the ones who have to deal with the consequences. And the worst part is, a lot of these decisions were made with absolutely zero consideration of our generation. 

The system can't keep us down if we continue to rise above it. 

We are all light beings

We are beings of light. 

How do I know this?

Let's journey somewhere where there is no light. The only place in the world that is 24 hour darkness, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

𓈉𓈊𓈉𓈊𓈉

You are now entering...

the hadalpelagic zone.

The darkest part of the world, the deepest part of the ocean. Total darkness. When there's no light, we shine our light. 

 

Women emulated the male heroic journey

 "Women emulated the male heroic journey because there were no other images to emulate, a woman was either "successful" in a male-oriented culture or dominated and dependent as a female. "

The Heroine's Journey

by Maureen Murdock