yeah just a reminder
The Spiritual Mechanics of the Maternal Parasite: Uhiwai, Energetic Theft, and the Manufactured Bond
A Necessary Disclaimer
If you grew up with a normal mother whose instinct was to nurture, protect, and launch you into the world, this reflection might feel completely alien to you. For most people, the concept of a mother who actively wants less for her children than for herself is impossible to fathom. This piece is not written for or about healthy families. It is an exploration of the darker, pathological dynamics that occur behind closed doors when a parent operates on covert sabotage, psychological dominance, and manufactured control.
In the ancient Hawaiian spiritual practice of Hoʻoponopono, there is a profound concept known as Uhiwai. Uhiwai describes a deep spiritual wound that settles low in the stomach area, acting as an energetic clog. Because the very first bonds we form in this life are with our family, our families are also the first people capable of carving out these spiritual wounds. When that damage is inflicted—whether through cold betrayal, calculated deceit, or an absolute failure of protection—an energetic cord forms, binding you directly to the person who created the trauma.
Under natural, healthy conditions, our vital life force energy rests centered in the solar plexus, right around the diaphragm. Physically, this is the exact halfway point of the human body. Vitally, it sits right alongside our lungs, the very organs that remind us we are alive with every single breath we take.
When severe trauma occurs, that natural balance shatters. Part of that vital solar plexus energy drops straight down into the stomach, congealing into the wound of Uhiwai. It is from this deep wound that a toxic trauma cord stays anchored to the person who hurt you. The life force energy that was meant to fuel your own growth, your dreams, and your expansion is steadily siphoned away and given to someone else. In everyday life, this energetic drain manifests as an obsessive loop where you cannot stop thinking about the person who harmed you, or an exhausting, endless urge to prove yourself, defend your character, and please someone who is determined to misunderstand you. On a darker level, it actively blocks your success, sabotages your stability, and prevents you from reaching genuine self-sufficiency.
The Three Energetic Centers
To understand why this bond is so crippling, you have to look at the three core energetic regions of the body in Hawaiian healing traditions:
The Lower Center (The Gut): Represents our past and holds the emotional subconscious spirit (Unihipili).
The Middle Center (The Heart and Solar Plexus): Represents the present moment and the conscious, breathing self (Uhane).
The Upper Center (The Mind and Crown): Represents the future and the higher spiritual mind (Aumakua).
When an abuser anchors a wound into your lower gut, they are literally anchoring your life force into the past. They trap your spirit in the original moment of betrayal, keeping you from living in the present or stepping cleanly into your future.
The Theory of the Parasitic Mother
I propose that psychopathic and deeply narcissistic mothers understand this energetic dynamic on an instinctual, subconscious level. They intentionally inflict trauma, break promises, and manufacture betrayal to forever bind their children to them through Uhiwai.
By convincing their children that they are fragile, incompetent, or incapable of surviving on their own, the mother secures her position as the supreme figurehead of the family system forever. If her children were to step into their true power—becoming independent, financially stable, and completely self-sufficient—her illusion of superiority would collapse. She does not inflict pain by accident. She manufactures the chaos, the debt, and the emotional distress precisely to preserve the leash, ensuring that your vital life force energy continues to flow back to feed her ego.
Recognizing where these energetic cords are anchored in your body is the first real step to breaking the loop. Healing does not come from begging the person who wounded you to finally see your worth; it comes from pulling your vital energy out of the past, dissolving the unreciprocated cord, and reclaiming the breath and sovereignty that was yours all along.
The Murder of God
God has been murdered
We may not have done it
But we are accomplices
We buried the weapon
And pretended all was well
And holy
We may not have done it
But we are accomplices
We buried the weapon
And pretended all was well
And holy
Treacherous claim
Isn't it?
Yet every whole contains
Both Masculine and Feminine
God’s wife
An equal
Not subordinate nor
Lesser in any way
Was slain by the Romans
While Her betrothed lay gagged
And bound in a room
Parallel to our own
The church is a holy lie
More bloodshed and greed
Than a battlefield stained red
While arms makers grow rich
Baal took God’s place.
He severed God’s head
And neatly sewed it atop his own
The greatest trick ever pulled.
The most merciless lie in history
A sacrilegious virus
Spread throughout humankind
Generations of the blind and self righteous
Murdering in the name of God
You fools do not see
The stitched line upon the neck
Of the church’s god
You do not see the empty chair
in which God’s wife sat
If God is a man and God alone
Where is there a place for me, our wives,
Or daughters?
If the only God is a man,
Patriarchy must be rational,
Thus man remains superior to woman
Epiphanies Part IV
If you're willing to expend just a little more energy than everyone else, you will reap rewards exponentially beyond them. I realized this when I was thinking about real estate auctions. You could do them online, from home, like everyone else who doesn't want to go in person. The demand will spike, causing prices to skyrocket. But if you go in person, if you do the due diligence and expend the effort it takes to find one, get your financing together, and adhere to the bidding rules, you have a much higher chance of finding a cheaper or better property. Perhaps this can even be said about personal property auctions online. With the amount of effort it takes to list each and every item, the best items probably don't even hit the online market.
The absolute worst and most sinister thing you could teach your children is that they can't survive without you. As a mother and father, your main goal is to teach your kids how to grow up and survive on their own. You give them the tools and knowledge you acquired throughout your life, so they don't have to make the same mistakes and struggle the way you did. And if you're a good parent, you give your children knowledge and a sense of self worth so that they can exceed your own limitations financially, emotionally, and/ or in entirety. It goes against human nature to kick the stool out from under your child every time they begin their own journey and to punish their independence by hoarding your resources to ensure they feel below you and dependent upon you.
If you set a boundary and someone says, "You don't have to be a bitch about it," do not defend yourself or say that you're not being a bitch. Let them know that is just a taste of being a bitch and if they pull that again, you'll ruthlessly attack. Let them be afraid of you. As a woman, this portrayal may as well be a cloak of protection. There is a Nigerian folktale about the rooster and the fox that perfectly encapsulates this:
There was a time when the fox feared the rooster. He steered clear of the bird, wary of the vermilion comb blazing atop its head. The fox believed the creature possessed fire without burning, so he kept a safe distance. One day, the fox worked up the courage to approach the rooster and asked how he survived the flames. The rooster laughed: "Oh, this? This isn't fire! You don't have to worry about little me. I'm not dangerous." Right then, the rooster became the fox's dinner.
The moral of the story is for women to let people be afraid of them. Do not shrink when confronted, because you telling someone not to worry about you may just as well be the green light for them to surpass you, abuse you, or become superior to you.
If you focus on what you want to feel like and/or achieve, rather than what uncomfortable feeling you're trying to avoid, your life will be shaped by your desires rather than your fears.
The busiest and most successful people always answer their phones quickly. They're ready to make deals and accept any business. It's the people who aren't successful that don't answer the phone. To them the phone feels heavy. If this is you (and honestly, at times, this is me), reframe the phone from a burden to an opportunity catcher.
It's not just you. When we don't stay mindful about joy and positivity, it can be easy to slip into negative thinking. Sometimes to shake ourselves out of it, it's of great benefit to listen to positive people in the background while performing household maintenance.
The amount of words in your vocabulary directly correlates to the width of your experience of life. If your vocabulary is narrow, your perception of reality will be narrow. This is why literacy is so crucial to free yourself from the bondage of limitation. When you're feeling stuck, go to z-library.sk or Internet Archive and read a book, any book, that interests you. Try to find a book with words you don't know. Find books that go against your beliefs and see if they open your mind to new ideas. The algorithm today feeds us things we already know and like, and this can keep us from expanding our worldview and knowledge, which ultimately stunts our personal growth.
If you feel insecure, lonely, or nervous, force yourself to say hi to everyone (everyone) you walk by on the way to work or encounter running errands. Definitely speak to people at work and home. It could be as simple as a Good morning! or a Hope you have a great day! But really, it should expand beyond that to a surface level chat. Practice staying in conversations longer. The person who controls the tempo has the power. This should help you with your nervousness and alien feelings.
The way to be interesting is to be interested. Be interested in other people's lives. If you can't ask them 10 questions about their life, you're not interesting. I really came to understand this when I was struggling passing my classes in college. The semester I stopped giving a half-assed attempt and started taking a genuine interest in the subjects, regardless of what they were, I managed to get straight A+'s two semesters in a row. This also explains why 10x is easier than 2x.
You reap what you sow. You don't reap when you sow. You usually reap more than you sow.
Don't let fear make you hide from your responsibilities. Not a single person is thinking about you- be mature enough to understand that.
Business is about being fearless and helping people with more money than you do something they don't want to do or can't do. If you are spending your initial days in business solely on a business plan, a website, a logo, or ordering business cards, you're just a customer for someone else's business. You're just a consumer. Start doing the part where you help people, get money, and develop a client base before you do the website and marketing. Yes, in today's day, you won't survive long if you don't have a website or business cards, but don't let that distract you from actually putting yourself out there to do whatever it is your business does. If you want to start a landscaping company, buy a lawnmower and start door knocking. If you want to start a marketing company, start helping people build their Instagram accounts and followers. The universe favors the bold.
Yesterday I realized that all my writing on this website- my daily insights, part of my future legacy- will disappear the day I die and stop paying for hosting. That's why I started sharing my works from here on Medium. I don't have to worry about paying Medium's hosting, and my writing can live on there for however long they're around. This is also why it's critical to publish a book, create an E-book on Amazon, and submit pieces to literary magazines. You ensure your work doesn't die with you.
Rich people always pay someone else to do work they can do themselves. They see it as time they can spend making exponentially more than whatever the service cost. It's the middle class people that think to do it themselves because they value the money not the time. To them, they earned their money with their time, so it feels like they're paying for something with their life- because they are.
Creativity is the only real thing there is. It is both a self-replenishing asset and tool. When you pay for things with your creativity, you don't lose any of it. In fact, it almost always multiplies into more creativity.
Poor people use money to pay bills and buy stuff. Middle class people use money to pay off credit cards and get some money back from paying bills. Rich people use money to make more money. Poor people and middle class people want guarantees. Rich people want opportunities.
The progress of technology has been at the expense of the human labor economy. Technology promised us leisure, but only demanded we match the speed of the machines. Inventions that were supposed to give us free time just replaced honest human jobs while forcing us to work faster. For example people, usually women, would get paid to type up what someone was speaking aloud turning their words into a manuscript. So how do we balance wanting to advance technologically with keeping humans employed? We will have to return to the truth that human beings have inherent worth separate from their mechanical output.
Colleges teach students to write analyses of other people's works, but never teach you that no one pays for commentary on someone else's life work. People pay for your own life work written into existence. When we train entire generations only to react to other people's words, we end up with platforms full of people endlessly parroting someone else's interpretation of reality. Go out, live life, and write your own work.
The only gap between where you are and where you want to be is missing information. You are just one piece of knowledge away from the next step. Go find it.
Heaven gives Earth meaning. Earth gives Heaven expression.
If you're more excited by someone else's life, you're a spectator- not a participator- in life.
In the Lord's prayer, "Thy Kingdom come" means not that Jesus is supposed to come back, but rather that God is to come into our life. Kingdom is a compound word: King's Dominion. God's kingdom is a realm, not a place. "Come and rule over my life as the sovereign king." God wants to make us kings and queens too- not of other people, but of assignments. When you yield to God as the sovereign king of your life, he gives you an assignment. That assignment yields to you, and you are the king or queen of that assignment.
We alone are not good at everything because this ensures we need other people. If I was good at everything, I wouldn't need others. God knows how man and woman are not supposed to be alone. So, the next time a family member is giving you a hard time about how you're not good at something they are, just share this principle with them:
"God made it so that we alone are not good at everything. This is so we can rely upon each other. I may not be good at _____, but I am good at ____, which you aren't good at. Maybe instead of pointing fingers at my "weaknesses," you grasp the greater principle at work here that we need each other and can learn from one another."
Furthermore, narcissism traps humans in a distorted version of reality where they can do no wrong. Below the surface, it's compensation for them knowing that they lack the ability to do everything themselves. Rather than recognizing that they are far from the only ones who don't know how to do everything alone and leaning on others around them, they deploy weapons of wordsmithing, finger pointing, and cruel manipulation to knock others down who naturally grasped this concept.
When you write a book, solve someone else's problem- whether you're solving an entertainment problem, a skill problem, a relationship problem, or a mindset problem.
God gives us the desire to have something so that we do something to get it. We have to become the person who deserves what we want, so when we inadvertently become a better version of us and get the thing, recognize that God knew that was the whole point from the beginning. Not so you could have the thing, but so you could become the better person along the way.
If what you're doing isn't working for you, it is 100% working on you. All work works. Don't forget this and quit before it works for you. Sometimes you need to figure out all the ways not to do something first.
If you want to hold a greater capacity of wealth, creativity, or health, there is a formula to achieve it:
Be the person who does the activity. Then, do the activity. Then, have the desired result.
Here's the most important part: It has to be in that order. It's a little contrary to our current beliefs. We'd think we have to do the activity before becoming the person who does the activity. But to succeed, you have to become the person who does the activity first.
Focus all your attention on intention, and ignore distractions ruthlessly. An intention is anything that gets you closer to your desired goal. A distraction is anything that doesn't get you closer to your desired goal.
Disruption always follows intention. When you take a new action, you will be disrupted. When you start working on something new, the first work it does is on you. The more important it is, the more true this is.
If you're prepared when your time comes, it will reveal you. If you're not prepared, it will expose you.
Amateurs practice until they don't get it wrong. Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong.
The desire to be good is the enemy of the desire to get better.
Everything you watch on Youtube is entertainment. Not a single person in this world can tell you what you need to do to get successful. Anyone who talks about success or has a formula on Youtube is merely after-the-fact recounting what their ego tells them made them successful. Hindsight 20/20. This is liberating news. If no one can tell me what I need to do then I can make my own path and let it be as easy or hard as I want it to be.
“Only when there are things a man will not do is he capable of doing great things.”
―
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