Relationships: Karmic, Limerence, Dharmic

Shakti and Shiva: The Essence of Dharmic Love

In Hindu philosophy, Shakti and Shiva represent two complete energies uniting as one, the essence of a Dharmic union. Relationships are fundamental to human growth. Our first relationships are usually Karmic. We get into relationships with people who push our buttons or push us to fix and heal something within ourselves that we might not have been aware of. Limerence is an extreme attraction to something. Have you ever had a type that you were attracted to, for example, I was super attracted to the funny guy who was super secure in himself, you might be attracted to artists, and it's because we're projecting what we really desire and actually have within ourselves onto someone else. I also want to talk about historically how women have felt the need to find a man to provide financial security. But once you become that financial security yourself, who you're attracted to will change. When you become and awaken these aspects in yourself, and when you no longer "need" someone to complete these aspects of you to make you whole, that is when you step into a Dharma relationship. In a Dharma relationship, two wholes come together to usher in a new wave of consciousness effortlessly, naturally, to our planet. Today, I want to talk about three different aspects of relationships: Karmic, Limerence, and Dharmic. 

When you find yourself attracted to men or women who seem to trigger your deepest insecurities, you are likely entangled in a Karmic relationship. These aren't meant to be your happily ever after. Instead, they act as a mirror, reflecting the unhealed parts of your psyche. If you find yourself repeatedly falling for partners who abandon you, ignore your boundaries, or require constant fixing, it's a good time to take a look at what the universe is guiding you to heal. The lesson here is to stop looking outward for validation and to start cultivating that worth within yourself.

The Illusion of Limerence

From there, we often stumble into the trap of Limerence. This is that intoxicating, obsessive infatuation where we put someone on a pedestal. But here is the plot twist: you aren't actually in love with them; you are in love with a projection of yourself.

When I was deeply attracted to the funny, fiercely secure guy, it wasn't just about him. It was because my soul was craving that exact sense of humor and security within myself. If you find yourself chronically infatuated with artists, free spirits, or hyper-successful tycoons, ask yourself: What quality do they possess that I am denying myself permission to embody?

The Evolution of Choice: From Survival to Soul

This shift becomes incredibly obvious when we look at our material world. Historically, women were conditioned to seek partners primarily for financial survival and physical security. When your baseline motivation is "I need someone to take care of me," your radar will naturally tune into providers, even if they aren't an emotional match.

But look what happens when the script flips. Once you become your own financial security—when you pay your own bills, build your own empire, and hold down your own fort—the old checklist crumbles. You no longer need a transaction; you desire a connection. When survival is off the table, your attraction elevates from a place of lack to a place of alignment.

Stepping Into Your Dharmic Relationship

When you finally heal the karmic loops, reclaim the pieces of yourself you were projecting through limerence, and secure your own foundation, something miraculous happens. You stop looking for a missing puzzle piece because you realize you are already a complete puzzle.

This is the gateway to a Dharmic relationship.

A Dharmic relationship is not about two halves desperately clinging together to make a whole. It is the collision of two fully realized, whole individuals. There is no codependency, no subconscious testing, and no desperation. Instead, you come together effortlessly and naturally. A Dharmic union doesn't drain your energy; it multiplies it, creating a peaceful, stable baseline that actually raises the consciousness of the planet just by existing.

So, take a look at your current relationship patterns. Are you healing a debt, chasing a projection, or building an empire of conscious love?

Beating the Devil: Drifters vs. Non-Drifters and the 6 Basic Fears

In his book Outwitting the Devil, Napoleon Hill describes "drifters" as people going through the motions of life, motivated by one or more of the 6 basic fears.

These 6 basic fears, which Hill first outlined in Think and Grow Rich, are the fear of: poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love, old age and death.

Drifters

The younger a person is when the seed of fear is planted, the easier it is for the devil to control them in this hypnotic state. Time does the rest of the work. According to Hill, 98% of people are drifters. Only 2% are non-drifters.

Two of these fears are the devil's favorites: the fear of poverty and the fear of death.

The fear of poverty robs people of their freedom, making them settle for comfort and security rather than taking risks and following their passion. They worry about money constantly and cling to mediocrity. They become dependent on jobs and institutions, focusing on survival instead of creation. The devil poisons their minds with indecision and pseudo-lack. This leads them to live out the very poverty they fear so much, both spiritually and financially.

The fear of death is just as insidious. It causes people to suppress their authentic selves and blindly obey authority figures. As a child, I was terrified of death. When I was 5, I got nail polish remover on my lips and truly thought I was going to die. That paralyzing fear was one of many experiences that led me to blindly follow authority, and it ultimately led to my rebellion against it. I realized that the people I thought had my best interests at heart were often only protecting their own interests and status. Because I gave my power away, I was vulnerable to betrayal.

You tend to bring what you fear most into reality.

Religions have used the fear of death to control people, leaving them full of shame and guilt during their actual lives and teaching them that real life (heaven) starts when they die. People who follow blindly are, in a sense, waiting to die before they start living and enjoying life. I don't believe that's what the Creator wanted for us. That said, I'm grateful I had such a loving and communal church growing up.

The fear of death is really the fear of the unknown. It runs so deep in society that people do its dirty work for it. Schools teach rigid obedience and memorization of a single narrative instead of teaching children to ask questions about the most important subject on this planet: themselves. Religious institutions instill fear of punishment and of the devil, suppressing divine expression and freedom.

Politics keeps people divided by creating "others," or false enemies.

Modern medicine often teaches us that our health is out of our control, waiting until we're sick to prescribe medications that can bring problems of their own. What we're rarely told is that our mindset and stress play a much bigger role in our health than we realize, and that the Creator gave us a remarkable ability to regulate ourselves toward wellness.

Status without self-mastery leads to corruption. Love, when uncontrolled, clouds judgment.

The other four fears work more quietly, but they keep just as many people drifting.

The fear of criticism keeps people small. It makes them dress, speak, think and even dream the way others expect them to. They hide their art, their ideas and their true opinions because they worry about what people will say. The fear of criticism kills creativity and initiative before they ever have a chance to grow. Most people who criticize you are simply projecting their own fears. The only opinion that can truly hold you back is the one you hold of yourself.

The fear of ill health keeps people anxious about their bodies instead of connected to them. They worry about every symptom, expect the worst and hand over all responsibility for their wellbeing to someone else. Worry itself becomes a weight on the body. When we care for ourselves from a place of love instead of fear, we become active participants in our own health.

The fear of loss of love leads to jealousy, people-pleasing and settling. People stay in relationships that drain them, abandon their own needs and shrink themselves to avoid being left. They mistake attachment for love. When you learn to love and value yourself, you stop clinging, and you begin to attract love that is freely given rather than anxiously held onto.

The fear of old age convinces people that their best years are behind them and that time is running out. It makes them stop learning, stop dreaming and stop taking chances because they believe it's "too late." But wisdom, clarity and self-knowledge grow with time. Many people do their most meaningful work later in life. Every age is an invitation to begin again.

Non-Drifters

To beat the devil and become a non-drifter, you must have a strong, defined purpose. That purpose creates a hypnotic rhythm in a positive direction, leading to connection with God and Source. Non-drifters with a definite aim aren't easily tempted by status, instant gratification or the gimmicks people use to numb their fears.

Don't be easily coerced or distracted. Don't get swept up in trivial matters the way drifters do. Be definite in thought and action.

10 Principles of Non-Drifters

1. Do your own thinking: Our thoughts are the one thing we fully control, so don't hand them over to anyone else.
2. Definiteness of purpose: You must have a clear, specific goal. A non-drifter knows exactly what they want and has a plan to get it.
3. Learning from adversity: Every failure contains the seed of an equivalent advantage. Non-drifters don't quit when things get tough; they pivot and learn.
4. Control of environmental influence: You become the people and environments you spend time in. Non-drifters choose their Master Mind group carefully.
5. Time management: Time is the only real capital we have. Non-drifters treat time as a sacred resource and don't let it slip away on drifting activities.
6. Harmony: Act in harmony with your own values and with the laws of nature. Conflict between your goals and your actions creates the drifting state.
7. Caution (the thinker's habit): Think before you act. Non-drifters analyze the why and the how rather than jumping at every shiny opportunity.
8. Decisiveness: Indecision is the primary symptom of a drifter. Non-drifters make decisions quickly and change them slowly, if at all.
9. Hypnotic rhythm: Habits become permanent over time. Non-drifters use this law of nature to automate positive habits so success becomes inevitable.
10. Absolute faith: Not necessarily in a religious sense, but a firm belief in your ability to achieve your definite purpose.

Do Nothing and Everything Gets Done

The current financial system is a mess. It is built on a foundation designed for an era of physical ledgers and slow communication, but we are trying to run a high-speed, digital world on top of it.

Most people assume money is created by the government. In reality, the vast majority of our "money" is created by private banks when they issue loans (Fractional Reserve Banking). Since every dollar is born with an attached interest obligation, there is technically never enough money in existence to pay back all the debt plus the interest.

Ever notice how economics is always, "Grow or go, go, go?" It's because this booby trapped debt system forces a perpetual growth mandate. If the economy doesn't grow fast enough to cover the interest, the system collapses. 

It's like hiring a bunch of people to give out parking tickets. It costs more to employ the parking patrol than the city has budget for. So in turn, they ticket any and every questionably parked vehicle. The residents basically pay for an unnecessary service they don't want. 

Good thing Long Beach would never do this! .... oh wait- 

In other words, the city "needs" the money brought in from parking tickets to pay the ticket writers. Just like the banks need us to go into debt to pay the interest on money they've loaned that they didn't have to begin with. 

And neither service actually improves the lives of us, the common people. 

This begs the question, 

Why do we even perpetuate this human-made, erroneous system that isn't working for 99% of the people?And this is not an exaggeration, this system doesn't work for literally 99% of us. 

We are obsessed with survival. We research wild animals in awe of their rhymes and rhythms.

We don't beat our hearts, or grow our hair, or digest our food. 

We don't breathe air, air breathes us. Our CO2 is necessary for the plant's to eat, just like their oxygen is necessary for us to breathe. 

Man couldn't design a more perfect system if he tried. 

We were perfectly designed to inhabit a system that functions best when we stop interfering with it.

Nature is the ultimate proof of the "Do Nothing" principle. A forest doesn't have a central bank, a 401k, or a department of urban planning, yet it is the most efficient, productive, and wealthy system on the planet.

The tree follows the sun; the soil provides plants nutrients as a byproduct of its own existence.

The rain doesn't charge for delivery. And it doesn't create a poisonous chemical plastic to bottle itself up in for convenience. 

Everything gets done because every element in the system is simply being what it is. In nature, survival is the default state, not the goal. It is only in our human-made financial systems that we’ve made survival a subscription service we can’t afford.

This is why I love the saying, "Do nothing and everything gets done." This is based on the principle of Wu-Wei, which is the art of non-interference. 

Wu-Wei is similar to symbiosis, which is the idea of two separate parts coming together for mutual benefit. However, our implementation of symbiosis failed because human ego entered the equation. We treated the Earth like a business partner we could cheat, exploiting nature as if it were a resource rather than our own flesh and blood.

Wu-Wei recognizes that we and the environment are not separate. We are one thing moving together. It's an identity of being in the flow with the flow- a fractal of a macrocosm as a microcosm. There is a universal order that always works out; we just fight it inadvertently by trying to impose our own broken and selfish logic on top of it. Instead of fighting against, we should just respond to and gently correct anything that's out of harmony. 

Just look at nature, it is so abundant! Not one thing screams, "Ooh there's not enough of this for you and me to both have it, so I'll buy all of it, and rent it to you for a price."