THE ILLUSION OF REWARDS- excerpt from Awareness by Anthony De Mello
AWARENESS WITHOUT EVALUATING EVERYTHING
[...] This reminds me of this fellow in London after the war. He's sitting with a parcel wrapped in brown paper in his lap; it's a big, heavy object. The bus conductor comes up to him and says, "What do you have on your lap there"? And the man says, "This is an unexploded bomb. We dug it out of the garden and I 'm taking it to the police station". The conductor says, "You don't want to carry that on your lap. Put it under the seat". Psychology and spirituality (as we generally understand it) transfer the bomb from your lap to under your seat. They don't really solve your problems. They exchange your problems for other problems. Has that ever struck you? You had a problem, now you exchange it for another one. It's always going to be that way until we solve the problem called "you."
THE ILLUSION OF REWARDS
Until then, we're going to get nowhere. The great mystics and masters in the East will say, "Who are YOU"? Many think the most important question in the world is: "Who is Jesus Christ"? Wrong! Many think it is: "Does God exist"? Wrong! Many think it is: "Is there a life after death"? Wrong! Nobody seems to be grappling with the problem of: Is there a life BEFORE death?
Yet my experience is that it's precisely the ones who don't know what to do with THIS life who are all hot and bothered about what they are going to do with ANOTHER life. One sign that you're awakened is that you don't give a damn about what's going to happen in the next life. You're not bothered about it; you don't care. You are not interested, period.
Do you know what eternal life is? You think it's everlasting life. But your own theologians will tell you that that is crazy, because everlasting is still within time. It is time perduring forever. Eternal means timeless no time. The human mind cannot understand that. The human mind can understand time and can deny time. What is timeless is beyond our comprehension. Yet the mystics tell us that eternity is right now.
How's that for good news? It is right now. People are so distressed when I tell them to forget their past. They are so proud of their past. Or they are so ashamed of their past. They're crazy! Just drop it! When you hear "Repent for your past", realize it's a great religious distraction from waking up. Wake up! That's what repent means. Not "weep for your sins". Wake up! Understand, stop all the crying, Understand! Wake up!